Failed It: Funnel Cake Style

For a while now, I have been meaning to make a vegan baked funnel cake. Today I figured I had the perfect opportunity by acknowledging that I met my husband thirteen years ago. We don't really celebrate this day but I like to do something sweet. Since we met at a no-longer-local-to-us fair, I thought funnel cake would be the perfect something sweet.

Until it turned into an episode of tijya-in-the-kitchen. I should have anticipated this since I was kind of grumpy when I started.
 
Originally, I wanted this to be a vegan treat. However, we bought eggs when we were expecting a guest...and then the guest didn't show so the eggs were sitting around. I figured I would use them up so it would not be wasteful. Except that didn't turn out exactly as planned. See below.
 

Egg. Not in the pot.

Yep. That's egg on the stove. Technically, the egg landed in the desired pot. However, my 'beating' of egg was a bit too vigorous so it flew out of the pot and onto the stove in a menacing way. I'm pretty sure I heard the egg engage in evil laughter as it slid into the coils on my stove. Fun times.

It went downhill from here. Some egg white managed to stay in the pot, but I wasn't sure how much. So I added another egg. I was careful to be gentle this time. My mixture was more liquidy than I think it's supposed to be. I added extra flour to compensate.

I didn't want to make traditional funnel cakes (and I mean beyond the baking-not-frying part). I wanted to funnel it onto my baking sheet in the form of a funky 13 (you know, to acknowledge when we met...aww...so sweet. ha).

However, I didn't add enough flour and the mixture was very very runny. I was pretty sure as I put the funnel cake into the oven that this was for sure a tijya-in-the-kitchen story. I know myself well.

Please take a minute to google image search funnel cake. Make sure you understand what it is supposed to look like. And then compare it to the vaguely shaped thirteen below.

Funnel cake that isn't funnel cake

Yep. I failed it. That definitely isn't funnel cake. It tasted yummy though, so I rolled one up crepe style and called it an unhealthy supper. I can handle these kinds of mistakes.



Funnel cake pretending to be a crepe.

Mess making

This morning was rough. I would start one chore and then quickly get distracted by something else. After doing this for a while, I realized I needed some caffeine. I opted to make an iced coffee/protein smoothie.

1. I attached the base to the jar of the blender
2. I added ice
3. I noticed the ice did not occupy much space in the blender
4. I added almond milk
5. And as the almond milk pooled beneath the blender, I realized that I did not attach the blades before attaching the base. So, essentially there was a huge hole in my blender planning.

How to screw up brownies

Another one of those days....tijya in the kitchen. I had decided to make black bean brownies. My first attempt (a while ago) was a failure. My blender couldn't hack it. I decided to try again. I used this recipe as my base, but I wanted to substitute the eggs. I opted for applesauce. I mixed up the ingredients and threw it into a pan.

And you would think that considering these are black bean brownies I would make sure to add two key ingredients. One being beans. I did so (yay for one victory!). The other being some kind of chocolate to make them *brownies*. Well, I sort of skipped this.

I only realized my error once they had been in the oven for twenty minutes. I had hopes that I would call them black bean bars and that they would be delicious. But when I took them out, they were bubbling in a non-dessert kind of way. So I figured that this was not a yummy mistake, but a tijya-in-the-kitchen story.

I have decided that it's not a three-strikes-you're-out with these brownies. I'm done. I quit. Since when are brownies supposed to be healthy anyway?

Granola Bars

So, I figured I would start my day by making some treats. I like doing this in the morning before it gets hot or I get lazy.

However, since I'm not always super alert, it can cause issues. Today, I didn't have any major disasters. But I did mess up the recipe.

I decided to make vegan granola bars from yummymummykitchen.com. At the end of this recipe, it says you can add more syrup if they seem too dry. Well, mine did. So I added more syrup and more peanut butter. It was only after placing them in the pan and coming back to my computer that I realized I forgot the coconut oil. And I mixed the chocolate chips *in* the mixture instead of drizzling melted chocolate chips on top. Oops! I will have to go back and make *the actual* recipe one day. Here's what I did instead:

Ingredients

• 2 cups of old fashioned oats
• 1 cup of Rice Krispies
• 1/2 cup of tahini
• 1 tbs peanut butter
• 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon maple syrup (although I do find them a bit too sweet)
• 2 tsp of chia seeds (I would use more next time but I ran out)
• 1/4 cup of mini chocolate chips

Steps

1. Line an 8x8 pan with tinfoil. Spray with non-stick cooking spray. Set aside.
2. Combine all of the ingredients.
3. Press mixture into prepared dish.
4. Chill until hardened.
5. Cut into squares (I did 12 squares) and store in refrigerator.

Update: 

I made the original recipe and find that it holds together much better with the coconut oil. I used tahini instead of peanut butter. I like the taste of the tahini, but I do think PB would bind the ingredients better.

tijya in the kitchen

I've titled this 'tijya in the kitchen' because it seemed friendlier than 'I suck in the kitchen', especially since I typically don't suck that much. Stay tuned for ongoing segments of tijya in the kitchen.Today's installment is below.

I have big plans for my four day weekend. And so far, things are not going as planned. Today's agenda:

1. Make Vegan Cadbury Creme Eggs (hardening as we speak)
2. Make Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies (Attempt #2 slightly better than attempt #1). Attempt #3 will consist of eating peanut butter straight from the jar followed by a mouthful of chocolate chips. Less work *and* less clean-up. I will save that for another day though.
3. Make Vegan Cadbury Creme Egg Brownies (based off the above recipe). I decided to be lazy and use a box mix...'cause that can't go wrong. Right? Well, welcome to my kitchen. It seemed that they weren't baking through, so I left them in the oven significantly longer than the box said. And now they are less like brownies and more like tooth chippers. They are kind of hard. So much so that I'm not sure the pan can be saved.

I'm persistent though, so I'm on brownie attempt # 2 based on a recipe found on All Recipes. It's great so far. My favourite part is that it calls for a different size of pan, which means I can leave the other pan soaking in the sink (brownies and all) for my husband to clean. Nothing says "I'm glad you are home" like handing him a dish cloth. He's going to be really excited.